Columnist: Video Games are the Crack Cocaine of the Electronic World

December 13, 2007 4:10 pm Morgan Gaming for All

That’s right boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, video games are crack cocaine! It’s true!

“This is an outrage!” you decry shaking your fist in the air. “I refuse to believe it’s true.”

Oh, the truth is out there, you just need to know where to look.

Today’s nugget of wisdom comes thanks to Father Raymond J. de Souza. He is a columnist in Canada’s conservative paper, the National Post. Yup, he’s a Canadian. Yup, he’s a priest. And yup, he thinks video games are digital crack. He said so in his latest post.

It all started on one dark and stormy night in his second year at Queen’s University when he discovered…Tetris. After discovering this most vile of creations (damn you Cold War Russia, damn you), he had his worst academic performance in 12 years of post-secondary education. Coincidence? I think not. As he puts it, “Video games are like a black hole into which time disappears.” It’s impossible to function when around a black hole. Seriously, have you tried it?

He eventually built up the courage to defeat his inner demons and deleted Tetris from his computer. Salvation! Victory! Death to addictions! He struck a blow for sanity by gruesomely and magnificently destroying the program from his hard drive with exceeding prejudice.

Oh yeah, video games make kids fat too, he said.

And they celebrate graphic violence, multifarious delinquency and borderline pornography.

Tetris had none of those lovely additions, and it was still deadly enough for the good Father.

Be warned my friends, be warned.