Run Right And Love It — Why Variety Shouldn’t Review Videogames

November 15, 2007 Wii 2 Comments

Ah, the joys of universal acclaim. Everyone is singing your praises and quietly wishing they had done whatever you did themselves. Yes, it truly is a joy to be on top of the mountain. A good friend of mine, a one Mr. Mario, can tell you all about this. His new game, Super Mario Galaxy, came out on Tuesday and it’s phenomenal. Everyone loves it, critics, boys, girls, space aliens, even…dare I say…non-gaming folk.

Except for those wonderful reviewers over at Variety.

Wait…Variety? That fantastic news source that brings you entertainment news of the Hollywood sort? The Variety that clumps reviews of games and movies together?

Yup, them.

Their reviewer, clearly a person who has quite the experience with gaming has given, well, let’s call it a lackluster review of Super Mario Galaxy.

He compliments Nintendo on having the best game designers around (gimme), but lamented the poor graphics of the game.

Come on, the graphics? This is the Wii we’re talking about here, no one is expecting Gears of War. Seriously, you get what you pay for and with the Wii people want good, fun games that are addicting. You know what? Galaxy has that in spades.

‘Course, then again, he does insult the game’s story too. Seriously? Insulting the story?

I tend to wonder if he even remembers the first Super Mario Brothers for the NES. What was the story?

Run Right!

Why?

Who cares why, Run Right Damn It! Do it, and like it!

And you know what? We loved it then and we love it now.

This Just In — Most Parents Don’t Like Videogames

November 13, 2007 DS, Gaming for All, Online Games, PS2, PS3, Wii, Xbox 360 No Comments

News flash: Most parents don’t like videogames.

I’m just gonna pause here for a sec and let that sink in.

Ok, better now?

According to an AP survey posted over at Yahoo, an average of 43 percent of parents think videogames are a big fatty fat waste of time for their kids (that’s a technical term there, fatty fat).

Granted, these parents are probably speaking about the stereotypically abused, overused and super-saturated view of a rare breed of gamer who gets no sunlight and scorns all who don’t understand his or her mysterious and magnificent WOW clans and ways.

Yeah, we’re all like that. Guilty as charged. We all play with swords and potions in our spare time and have a hard time co-mingling without computers or games to bridge the social divide.

Yup.

However, the underlying issue here is that people (yeah, parents are people too) don’t like what they don’t really understand. So if you have kids and your kids like games…and by some miraculous reason you happened upon this entry, then take some time outta your day to game with them. If nothing else, it’ll be a bonding experience with you and your son/daughter.

Show some interest in what they’re interested in, and they’ll open up to you.

As far as the newsworthiness of this story? It’s kinda like how back in the day TV was going to rot your brain, and before that comics were gonna make you deranged, even before that reading was going to put thoughts in your head and make you a wicked person. Every generation has their scapegoats, ours just gets to be videogames.

View some highlights of the survey after the break. Read the rest…

Super Mario Galaxy Bursts Onto Scene Early — To Hell with Release Dates

November 8, 2007 Wii No Comments

“Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!” This was a rallying cry for Admiral David Glasgow Farragut as he stormed into Mobile Bay in 1864. This brash move helped him defeat the Confederacy that day and capture the bay.

It turns out that the fine employees of Best Buy and some other quality retail stores are echoing his call to action in their lacking of caring about release dates. “Release dates?” they quaff, “We don’t need no stinkin’ release dates.”

Proving that you can’t keep a good plumber down, Super Mario Galaxy has burst onto the scene four days early! At least, that’s what the thread at GameFaqs is discussing. If you’re interested in getting your grubby mitts on an early copy of Galaxy, pop over to GameFaqs and figure out where you can. Or just pop over to your local Best Buy…they’ve got them there, just harass the workers enough and they’ll cave.

Fanboys…Unite!

October 29, 2007 DS, PS3, Wii, Xbox 360 No Comments

Go to any site where readers can sound off and you will inevitably see the ensuing battle: Playstation 3 vs. Xbox 360…and sometimes vs Wii (who even knows if the Wii matters?). It’s a passionate barrage of words of those who truly believe a win is possible and perhaps those soldiers caught up in the fight will in turn get their own “console pride badge of victory” once it has all been settled.

I understand their passion, your passion. I grew up wanting the “best” (whatever that is) and when it came to video games, I wanted the best console. There once was a simpler time when the lines were much clearer. Before as today, you could not necessarily declare an undisputed victor in the console wars, but you could definitely identify the losers, lest we forget to name a few (in no particular order): Jaguar, TG16, 32X, VirtualBoy, Dreamcast, CD-i, 3DO, etc.

In this generation, I believe it is fair to assume that no one particular console will suffer the fate of these aforementioned ones, so why persist in declaring the other can win a console war of any kind? Who will lose….who can lose?

PlayStation 3 on its worst day as a videogame machine is not a bad blu-ray disc player…and it’s shiny. Xbox 360 on its worst day isn’t even in your home, it’s off somewhere in Texas getting repaired, but it will be back once again to destroy your social life, cause fights with your girlfriend and warm you and your home on those cold winter nights. The Wii, I digress on its worst day…is the Wii and no one cares. In the Wii’s respect, there is a definitive winner when it comes to capturing the hearts and minds of the elderly seeking an alternative to real bowling: Wii, you win.

Seriously though, for a victor to be named, the “war” needs to be more clearly defined:

Video GAME war: Xbox360 you’ve got the most and the best (in terms of sales), you win.

Video PLAYER war: Blu-ray disc has way more sales (in the HD department) and more movies people want, sorry HD-DVD fans, I declare PS3 winner in this one.

CONSOLE (everyone wants to know) war: Wii you have strength in numbers, you win.

Wow, everyone wins…strangely, I find the “console war” that much more insignificant.